The Works of
Robin Gordon
= = Auksford = =
Links within this page: | Stories for children | Fiction | Poetry, Drama and Music |
Stories for Children
For young childrenBig-Lugs the
Wallip
Big-Lugs learns that if you want help it's better to be polite than to
threaten violence.
Robert
Rabbit and Friends
Robert
Rabbit and the Smell Well -
Robert escapes
from the bullying Rexy Fox.
Dick
Duck and the Black Duck
- Dick boasts about
the Duck family ghost).
The
tale of Rexy Fox -
After Rexy steals some
lunch-boxes, Robert and the others teach him a lesson.
Robert
Rabbit and
the Witch's Imp
-
The Imp claims Robert to be the Witch's slave.
Gertie Whistlebritches (Boys who don't believe in magic find Gertie is far from defenceless)
Hradlaub,
or The Dwarf,
the Witch and
the Nightmare
Good Duke Hermann falls ill and the dwarves are blamed for casting a
spell on him.
Only Hradlaub the Dwarf can find out the truth and rescue the Duke, but
he has to face the Wicked Witch
For older children
Jellybean and the
Warlords of Chaos
Prep-school boys Jellybean and Frobisher fall through a portaland find
themselves in a world of
warring Orcs and Arachnoid fighting machines. Rescued by Elves they
hear that Elves and Dwarves
are at enmity, that their world has been invaded by alien creatures,
and that it is all thought to be
the fault of the Dwarf-Elf. Snotrag the Great, leader of the Orcs,
wants their heads as trophies.
Can they outwit him? Is the Gollum-creature friend or foe? Who are the
Warlords of Chaos
and can they ever be defeated?
Links within this page: | Stories for children | Fiction | Poetry, Drama and Music
Fiction: Novels and short stories
Novels
The Kirrins and the Mystery
of the
Sandy-haired Dwarf
Beginning as a parody of Enid Blyton's "Famous Five" this story
develops into a thrilling tale of brave
teenagers thwarting the evil plans of a terrorist group though
kidnapped and threatened with torture
and death by a paedophile with a predilection for snuff
movies.
Dr
Pimple and
the Sleeping Beauty
The old fairytale ploy of inviting all the unmarried girls in the land
to a grand ball fails to find a wife for
wastrel Prince Bertie, who mocks the ugly sisters and then goes off
with his friends to fight the town boys.
Dr Pimple has the answer.
The
Royal
Wedding
The Emperor of Borania sends Prince Boris with the gift of bolt of
"enchanted cloth" to make a wedding
suit for Prince Egbert and his best man Prince Bruce of Old Zephyria.
What a choice for Bertie: reject
the gift and the enraged Boranians invade to avenge the insult, or walk
in procession through the town
in his underwear and become a laughing stock who will soon be
overthrown by the republicans.
Even Oliver Simpkin, the King's omniscient secretary is baffled.
Dr
Pimple's
miracle cure
The noise of quarrelling citizens gives the King a headache. Can Dr
Pimple find a cure?
Nanny
Scungebucket
The tone darkens. The christening of the baby princess is invaded by
Auld Hinnie McIldhu who threatens doom but is forced
to leave the traditional loophole: they can thwart
her if they discover her true identity.
The baby disappears, Simpkin loses his memory, Prince Egbert's quest to
find his daughter fails,
and the new Prime Minister, a former TV gameshow host, presides over
the decline of the country.
Nanny Scungebucket transforms farming into agribusiness and achieves an
economic stranglehold, the last herd of unicorn are to be
rounded up and slaughtered for petfood -
which will enrage the People of the Sea, who believe the
Unicorn carry the souls of the dead to the underworld -
and Prince Egbert disappears while trying to stop the roundup.
Prince Bruce is accused of murdering him,
the King dies, a republic is proclaimed and Nanny Scungebucket
becomes president. But who, or what, is she?
Stories
and
plays set in a northern English city and the surrounding area.
Vol.I:
Alarms and
Excursions
According to Miss Hardacre two boys sexually assaulted a girl
at school. Rumours fly.
Journalists look for a story. Truth emerges from unlikely quarters.
Vol.
II: The Banner
The battles between the lads of Halden and Swarrell. In 4
parts: Sid;
Nails; Effie;
and The
Battle.
Presented in both the original version, as series of four
plays,
and the revised version, a mock-heroic epic in four parts.
Vol.
III: Brian's Saga
Schoolboy
Brian thinks his besetting sin is masturbation, though in fact it is
priggishness. He reads the
story of the local saint, St Sweyne, a
Viking who began his career with rape and pillage before an
illness and
miraculous cure converted him to Christianity. Sweyne is duped by the
scheming Odd Fart
into killing the Druid of Derweddsdale, the Avanc
comes forth, and Sweyne alone can slay it. Brian,
priggishly angered by
the superstition of those of his schoolfellows who come from
Baldersdale, decides
it is his duty to follow in Sweyne's footsteps and
confront the Worm Master), but his role in the
confrontation between
the Powers of Light and Darkness is not at all what he had imagined.
Vol.IV:
A
Collection of shorter Halden stories
A Tale
of Three Sisters -
Olivia,
Maria and Irene are exiled to Swardale after their doctor father
has
to
give up his London practice because of his alcoholism.
The Little Friends - Sheila plots revenge against the boy who humiliated her brother.
Anniversary Party
- Angry
Sandra recounts her brother Tony's refusal to stay at home for
their
parents' wedding anniversary, his insistence on going out to a football
match with his gang,
and his come-uppance.
Vol.
V: Les Épatants
George Walker remembers his teenage days, joining Sebastian's gang of
rebel sixth-formers and
watching in increasing horror as their rebellion escalates from
schoolboy posturing to blowing up
the school hall - but was Sebastian the really the leader, or has
George's memory played him false?
Short stories and Novellas
Christmas
with Violet
Elizabeth
Admirers of Richmal Crompton were appalled to hear of a
plan to
make a television series about
the Outlaws' adult life, with Ginger as a homosexual
hairdresser. Luckily it was never made, or dire
revenge might have fallen upon the heads of the
perpetrators of
such an outrage. I hope this little
vignette from William's later life may prove more
acceptable, as
Violet Elizabeth, still with her lisp,
organises her husband and his friends as they struggle to
erect an
overlarge Christmas tree at the Hall.
Leaves in the wind
Susan is distressed to have her husband's friend Hugh to stay,
especially as she thinks he'll interfere in
her plan to restore the garden. Knowing Edward can't stand her, she
invites her friend Cheryl. The
chemistry of love works in mysterious ways, however, and Susan soon
wishes Hugh were not so
honourable that he'd resign himself to unhappiness rather than betray a
friend.
The tale of Omar and
John
The story describes through the figures of Omar and John how some
asylum seekers, have, contrary
to all the laws of honour and the respect due to a host, taken
advantage of the generosity of the British,
deceived and betrayed their benefactors and plotted their
destruction.
L'Estrange
on Love I: Short stories
Reminiscences of Sir Hannibal L'Estrange, bart. of Fosswick in the
County of Norsex
transcribed and edited by Robin Gordon.
Preface: How
I decided to record Sir Hannibal's anecdotes
and why I haven't had time to publish
them until now.
The
Power of Love: How
Sir Hannibal's nephew Richard was
overcome by the power of love.
A
gnome at Auksford:
Sir Hannibal's undergraduate
great-nephew John fell for the wrong sort of girl.
Pork
Pie: Sir
Hannibal's first meeting with his wife.
L'Estrange on Love II: Rum business
Sir Hannibal tells the story of Julian Rummocks, tried for the
attempted murder of his first employer's
wife, whom he had seduced,
when her letter prevented his advantageous marriage to the daughter
of
his second employer, an earl.
Noddy comes
to Toyland: Part I
and Part
II:
Enoch Blyton's 19th C. manuscript: trouble at the Toyland
Factory, a gang of wreckers called the
Hobgoblins, organised by Captain
Moonlight, sabotage the factory. The owner, Mr Claws, is
sure
Noddy, a new man taken on by the overseer Mr Plod without proper
references, is the leader.
Could this be the tale that inspired
Enid Blyton?
Saving
Face
When Michael's braces broke just as he was about to get off the train
and meet his cousins,
he didn't want to look silly by admitting that his trousers were in
danger of falling down
Poems & Verse
tales
See Stories for
Children: Verse
tales (Gertie
Whistlebritches
and Hradlaub);
and also Fiction:
Chronicles of Halden:
(The Banner: a mock heroic epic,
and the poems in Brian's
saga)
Poems,
Part I
Collected poems of the sixties and seventies
Poems,
Part II
Collected poems of the eighties and nineties
The
Auksford
Bible in Verse
Fragments
of the Gospel according to Robin Gordon
(Evangelium pinguinimpennense)
Insanity
Verses on the state of Britain, with particular reference to Brexit
Drama
See also Fiction: Chronicles of Halden:The Banner: dramatic tetralogy,The
Oympian Experiment
A Doctor Who
adventure, not a piece of fanfic, more a lost
episode, since it was submitted to the BBC,
accepted with enthusiasm by the scripts department, but rejected by the
then new production team,
which had decided that Doctor
Who was no longer to be a witty
series but was to concentrate on
"fantasised violence" designed to appeal almost exclusively to
13-year-old boys. They did, however,
plagiarise the human sacrifice scene from the beginning and graft it
rather oddly onto a farrago of
nonsense set in 16th-century Italy. The Olympian Experiment is set in
Ancient Greece where the Time
Lords are conducting an experiment with the Greeks and Trojans. The
Doctor (Tom Baker) and
Sarah rescue Iphigeneia, are almost caught, and accompany Odysseus as
he is sent off the
planet Circe by Poseidon, who hopes to become President of the High
Council of Gallifrey and
alter the laws to allow the Olympian Experiment to be used as a
precedent for widespread
experimentation with less-developed races.
Faustina
A burlesque in verse
of Goethe's Faust satirising extreme
sexist feminism, represented by Mephista, with a sideswipe at male
laddish behaviour (a rugby club stag party) with the dispute of the
Ancient Greek philosophers replaced by an ill-tempered quarrel between
Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler.
Music
Gertrude Jekyll and Mr Hyde: a musical___________________________________________________________________________________________
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remember that all these works are copyright.
See Copyright
and
concessions
for permitted uses
robingordon.auksford @gmail.com