The
old
goods yard. The girls are looking down from the viaduct as
the
procession bearing Tommo draws near. It has swollen to
include
all the Black Dragons. Other Swarrell lads are looking on or
joining in. The procession chants continuously and with great
relish.
Swarrell
lads:
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
The
procession arrives at the open space between the engine sheds and the
viaduct and stops below the girls who have a good view. Under
Willie’s direction the lads spread out into a wide circle
leaving
the little group holding Tommo at its centre. The chanting
stops
and there is near silence. At Willie’s signal Tommo
is
dropped by his captors, who join the circle. For a moment
Tommo
lies where he is, looking round rapidly, then he gets warily to his
feet. There is a burst of catcalls and jeering.
Tommo looks
round for an escape, but there is no gap in the circle.
Willie
and a few other step forward.
Willie:
Hey! Tommo! Tommo the Dragon-Killer!
Tommo the King
of the Two Towns! There’s no way out,
Tommo!
You’re trapped. We’re gonna take your
trousers off,
Tommo, and the girls are gonna get a good view.
Willie
points up at the
girls. Tommo looks up. The girls jeer and catcall
and Tommo looks away quickly.
Willie:
We’re gonna give you the Count!
Tommo
starts in fright. The Swarrell lads and the girls
cheer.
Willie and the other debaggers advance and close on Tommo. He
charges at the circle and is repulsed. The debaggers play cat
and
mouse with him. He dodges round the circle, then charges
again. This time the debaggers grab him and drag him to the
centre of the circle. They throw him onto the ground and
remove
his trousers, while the circle and the girls above roar their
approval. Willie holds up the trousers to a great cheer.
The debaggers release Tommo. Willie flaps the
trousers like a bullfighter’s cape.
Willie:
Hey, Toro! Toro!
Tommo
stands bewildered for a moment, then he makes a grab for the
trousers. Willie throws them to another boy, then they are
thrown
from Dragon to Dragon while Tommo makes futile attempts to catch them.
ACT
IV, SCENE 2
The
allotments on the Halden side of the Alebeck. Scouse (with
wet
feet), Nelly (minus his jacket and with his trousers completely soaked
in Alebeck mud), Claggy (with a black eye, minus one shoe and with his
legs soaked in mud up to the knees), Wank (with his shirt ripped, one
sleeve and half the front missing, and part of the back ripped out of
his jeans where someone has grabbed him by the pocket), and Hutch (who
has obviously fallen flat on his face in the mud), all come up from the
Alebeck marshes and join some other Halden lads. One of these
is
limping and being half-carried by two friends, one of whom has a
bleeding nose which has soaked his shirt-front, while the other is
wearing nothing but a tattered shirt and one sock. There are
a
few other Halden lads nearby who join the group. Some are
muddy,
some battered, most trouserless.
From Swarrel comes the sound of chanting:
Swarrell
chant:
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
We’re going
to take
his trousers
off!
Then
comes a silence, then
cheering.
Rita arrives, running.
Rita:
Quick! They’ve got Tommo.
They’re going to strip him. You’ve got to
rescue him.
The
Halden lads all turn away
and ignore her.
Rita:
They’re taking his trousers off! They’re
going to give him the Count!
The
lads begin to move away.
Rita:
He’s your leader! You’ve got to rescue
him! It’s a disgrace on Halden!
Hotrod
and the Furies arrive, limping and wheezing. Hotrod is
clutching
his injured arm to his chest and wrapping it in the tattered remains of
his shirt. One leg of his jeans has been ripped off and his
shoe
and sock are missing. The Furies have a variety of
injuries. One is peering blearily through two black eyes and
has
lost all his clothes except his jeans, which are stained with mud,
blood and grime, while his chest back and shoulders are covered with
scratches and bruises. One, supported by a friend is still
wearing his full Furies regalia apart from his trousers. His
bruised and battered friend has lost all his clothes apart from his
tattered shirt, which he has wrapped round his loins.
Rita[to
the Furies]:
You’ve gotta rescue Tommo!
Hotrod:
Get lost! I hope they kill him.
Rita:
It’s a disgrace on Halden.
Hotrod:
It’s up to them
– [He
indicates the Wild Bulls]:
… if they want him.
Hotrod
moves away towards Halden, followed by the other Furies. The
cheering from the goods yard is redoubled. Rita looks round
in
agonised suspense.
Rita[to
the Wild Bulls]:
Well?
Nelly:
Not me.
In
the goods yard the cheering
is suddenly replaced by chanted counting: One! –
Two! – Three …
Rita:
They’re giving him the Count!
She
looks round desperately then
makes up her mind and hares back towards the spectacle she is missing.
Nelly:
Come on.
Nelly
turns homeward.
Scouse:
We can’t leave him.
Nelly:I
can.
Scouse:
We could get the van.
Nelly:
Fuck off!
Hutch[shocked]:
I’ve lost ’em!
Scouse:
We can’t just abandon him.
Hutch:
He’ll kill us. I’ve lost the keys.
Wild
Bulls: Eh?
Hutch:
Me brother. He’ll kill us. I’ve
lost the keys for the van.
Claggy:
Must be in the swamp.
Wank:
Where you fell.
Hutch:
Gotta go back.
Nelly:
Not a chance. A’m gan hame.
Scouse:
What about Tommo?
Nelly:
You save him if you’re so keen.
Nelly,
Claggy and Wank turn
homewards.
Hutch:
What am I going to do? He’ll fucking kill
us. He doesn’t know we take it.
Nelly:
Aw shurrup. Just deny everything.
Hutch
follows them and they head
off towards Halden. Scouse stands irresolute.
ACT
IV, SCENE 3
The
goods yard. King and his followers are leaving the Engine
Sheds,
very subdued, while the Dragons yell and chant and the girls cheer and
jeer.
King has a bloody gash on his head and is walking groggily,
supported by Ronno and Ken.
Ronno’s
jacket and shirt are torn, and one leg of his trousers has been ripped
off at the knee. He has a variety of bruises and cuts.
Sid and Jake are both untouched.
Terry is untouched, except that he has no shoes or trousers.
Ken and Stan are battered and tattered.
The rest of
the gang are variously bruised, cut, battered, limping and
bloody. Most have torn clothing. Several are minus
their
denim jackets, their shoes, and parts of their shirts or
trousers. A few have lost their jeans, and one is entirely
naked
and wearing the remains of a cardboard box round his middle.
ACT
IV, SCENE 4
Scouse
creeps cautiously into the old goods yard to find the Black Dragons
still celebrating the humiliation of Tommo. A crazy
procession,
led by Little Willie brandishing a new banner made by fixing
Tommo’s trousers to a pole, surges away from the Engine Sheds
and
around the turntable, carrying shirt-tailed Tommo on their shoulders.
Two of the
Dragons are blowing some form of horn, others have made percussion
instruments by beating bits of wood together or rattling stones in
tines. Several have attached denim jackets or other lost
garments
to bits of wood and set light to them as flaming torches.
The girls are leaning over the parapet, enthusiastically
cheering the Dragons on.
Dragons[singing]:
Tommo is a poof
Tommo is a poof,
ee-aye-addio
Tommo is a poof!
Raaay!
We got his trousers off,
we got his trousers off,
ee-aye-addio
we got
his trousers off
Raaay!
Tommo
came to Swarrell
with a
million boys or more,
Tommo
came to Swarrell
with a
million boys or more,
Tommo
came to Swarrell
with a
million boys or more,
but we took his trousers off!
Glory,
glory, Swarrell Dragons,
glory,
glory, Swarrell Dragons,
glory,
glory, Swarrell Dragons,
we took
his trousers off!
Norah:
Where’s your trousers, Richard Thompson? Are you
going to
have to go home without them? Oooh, Richard
Thompson!
You’ll have to run home in your shirt.
Willie:He’s
not running home. We haven’t finished with him yet!
Dragons
& Girls:
Raaaay!
Norah:
What’re you gonna do with him, Willie?
Willie:
Get him up on the roof!
Dragons
& Girls:
Raaay!
The
Dragons surge forward towards the Engine Sheds, over the outbuildings
and onto the main roof. Willie takes his place on the
peak.
Tommo is passed up over the heads of the Dragons.
Willie:
Bring him up! Let the girls have a good look!
Girls:
Oooooh!
Willie:
Take a bow, m’n Tommo. Not shy, are you?
Norah:
Should’ve done the Count up there.
Girls:
Yeah!
Willie:
Have we to do it again, Tommo? Eh?
Tommo[exhausted
and tearful]:
Give us me kegs back.
Willie:
He wants his kegs back. Hey, lassies, have A to give him his
kegs back?
Girls:
No! No!
Willie:
They’re our new Banner – unless A burn them.
Norah:
We’ll have ’em!
Willie:
Shall A give ’em to the lassies, Tommo.
Tommo:
No.
Willie:
Why not. You
don’t need ’em. – Here!
Take’em to the lassies!
Willie
throws Tommo’s trousers to a nearby Dragon and they are
passed
from hand to hand down to the ground. One of the Dragons
takes
them over to the steps, where Thelma collects them.
Willie:
You’ve lost ’em now, Tommo – unless you
want to go
over and get ’em back. D’you wanna go up
and see if
the girls’ll give ’em back, eh?
Norah:
Yeah! Send him up here!
Girls:
Yeah!
Dragons:
Raaay!
Willie:
No! I haven’t finished wid’ him
yet.
We’re gonna have lots more fun wid’ him.
Then
we’re gonna keep him till tomorrow morning, and then dump him
right in the middle o’ Swarrell – without his kegs!
Dragons
& Girls:
Raaay!
Willie:
Yeah! We’ll dump him right outside Miltons.
Dragons
& Girls:
Raaay!
Willie:
Let everybody have a good look!
Cheers.
Laughter and
cheering after each of Willies’ utterances.
Willie:
Hey! Bet he’ll even get his photo in the paper!
– [Cheers] –
When they see what we do to our enemies all the lads for miles
around’ll want to join the Dragons. – [Cheers] –
They’ll all want to be initiated! – [Cheers]
– They’ll be begging us to take their pants off,
cos they’ll be scared of worse!
Cheers,
jeers, whistles and
general hubbub.
Willie [chants]:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their
trou-sers
off!
Willie:
We’ll have the pants off all the lads in Swarrell!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
We’ll have the pants off all the lads in Halden!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
All the apprentices!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
And the students!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
And the teachers!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
We’ll have the pants off our headmaster!
Dragons:
Raaay!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
A’ll have the pants off me brother!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
A’ll have the pants off me Dad!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
We’ll have the pants off everybody – even
Manchester United!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Willie:
Debag! Debag! Debag!
Some
of
the Dragons take up Willie’s new chant, others keep up the
old
one. They bang their bits of wood and rattle their tins.
Dragons:
We’re going to
take
their trou-sers
off!
Debag!
Debag! Debag
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Debag!
Debag! Debag!
In
the
pandemonium of chanting, cheering, banging and rattling, Scouse decides
to withdraw. He stumbles over some rubble and almost
falls.
The girls see him and begin shouting.
Girls:
Look!
Get him!
It’s one
of the Halden lads!
Get him!
Get him! Get his pants off!
There he goes!
After him!
Debag him!
Don’t
let him get away!
The
Dragons turn towards Scouse and a snatch squad goes after
him.
Scouse is captured, borne in triumph to the Engine Sheds and passed up
towards Willie.
Dragons
& Girls:
We’re going
to take
his trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
his
trou-sers
off!
Scouse[screaming
to make
himself heard]:
Take me to Willie!
Take me to Willie!
He
arrives in front of Willie.
Willie:
What d’ya want?
Scouse:
I’m from the Wild Bulls. We want to join the
Dragons!
Willie:
Eh?
Scouse:
Wanna join the Dragons.
Willie:
Shurrup! All of you, shurrup! Let’s hear
him!
The
hubbub dies away.
Willie:
You wanna join the Dragons?
Scouse:
Yeah. We know it’s no use fighting against
you. We
were top gang in Halden, but the Dragons are top gang everywhere.
Dragons:
Raaay! Dragons rule! Dragons rule!
Willie:
How many you got?
Scouse:
Six.
Willie [scornfully]:
Six?!
Scouse:
But we were top gang. If we join the others’ll
follow.
Willie:
You’ll have to be initiated.
Scouse:
I know.
Willie:
Right now!
Scouse:
Yeah.
Willie:
Geddim!
Scouse
is grabbed by the Dragons
and debagged.
Girls:
The Count! Give him the Count! The Count!
The Count!
Willie
emerges from the struggle
brandishing Scouse’s trousers.
Willie:
To the turntable!
The
Dragons swarm don
from the roof, taking Scouse with them, to the disappointment of the
girls.
ACT
IV, SCENE 5
The
viaduct. The girls
turn away from the scene below.
Norah:
Rotten!
Rita:
Yeah, can’t see a thing down there.
Thelma:
Look!
A
little way down the street the
Mad Dogs
have come out of the goods yard. Like King’s gang
they are
bruised, battered and tattered. They are all still wearing
their
spiked dog-collars round their necks, and most still have at least part
of their leather jackets, with enough of their insignia, a drawing of a
snarling dog, to identify them. Several are barefoot or have
only
one of their heavy boots, and some are limping. Two are
trouserless, and the jeans of most of the others have been split at the
seams. The leader’s jacket is ripped and his shirt
torn. He has only one boot, and his jeans are ripped into
four
separate pieces that hang flapping round his legs.
The girls move in for a closer look, and the Mad Dogs try to
shield their trouserless companions.
Norah:
Hah! Look at ’em! Aren’t boys
stupid?
Thelma:
Yeah, fighting like little kids.
Rita:
And ripping each other’s pants off.
Jane:
Yeah. Stupid.
Mad
Dog Leader:We
ain’t stupid. We’re killers!
Norah:
Yeah, look like killers, don’t you.
Hey, wanna know what happened to your friends’
pants? We got
’em.
Mad
Dog Leader: What?!
He
steps forward threateningly.
Norah:
And we’ll have yours!
Norah,
Rita, Thelma and Jane
each grab one
of the flapping pieces of the Mad Dog Leader’s jeans and spin
round him as if he was a maypole. He staggers. The
jeans
disintegrate, and the girls retreat with their booty. Amid
howls
of female derision the Mad Dog Leader stands for a moment open-mouthed,
clamps his hands to his crotch, and then flees. After a
momentary
hesitation his gang follow. The girls laugh and jeer than
return
to their old position on the viaduct.
ACT
IV, SCENE 6
Willie
and the Dragons are
rushing round
the goods yard in enthusiastic procession, carrying Tommo and Scouse,
who are both trouserless. Willie is brandishing
Scouse’s
trousers, and the Dragons are singing to the tune of “La
cucuracha”:
Dragons:
We’ve got their trou-sers!
We’ve
got their trou-sers! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la!
We’ve
got their kegs
off!
We’ve
got their kegs
off! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la!
We’ve
got their kegs
off!
We’ve
got their kegs
off! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Willie
climbs onto a pile of
rubble and stands waving Scouse’s trousers.
Dragons:
We’ve got their knick-ers!
We’ve
got their knick-ers! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la!
We’ve
got their pants
off!
We’ve
got their pants
off! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la!
The
Dragons drop Tommo and
Scouse in front of Willie.
Willie:
A’m gonna dump you both in Swarrell tomorrow morning with no
pants on!
Dragons:
Raaay!
Willie:
One at Miltons, and one at the station.
Dragons:
Raaay!
Scouse:
You can’t. We’re Dragons.
We’ve been initiated.
Some
of the Dragons laugh.
Scouse:
Dragons rule!
Dragons:
Raaay! Dragons rule!
Scouse:
You can’t dump Dragons with no pants on! Dragons
rule!
Various
Dragons: Yeah,
he’s right.
Dragons rule.
Scouse:
Dragons take the pants off other
gangs!
Willie:
I take the pants off anyone I want!
Scouse:
Not off Dragons!
Various
Dragons:
He’s right!
Yeah.
Can’t strip Dragons.
Strip other gangs!
Steve:
You gotta let ’em go, Willie.
They’re Dragons. They’ve been
initiated. You
can’t strip our own lads. Dragons are top
gang. We
strip other gangs.
Willie:
Yeah. We strip other gangs. We’re gonna
have the pants off all the gangs in Halden!
Dragons:
Raaaay!
Willie:
And all the gangs in Swarrell!
Dragons:
Raaay!
Willie:
We’re gonna have the pants off all the gangs all over
England! Dragons rule!
Dragons:
Yeah! Dragons rule! Dragons rule!
Willie:
We’re going
to
take
their trou-sers
off!
Dragons:
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
We’re going
to take
their trou-sers
off!
Steve:
You gonna let ’em go?
Willie:
Yeah – Hey! Just one thing! What about
Pete?
Scouse:
Eh?
Willie:
They stripped Pete! And Pete’s a Dragon!
They have to get his pants back!
Dragons:
Yeah!
Willie:
Where are they?
Scouse:
The girls have got ’em.
Willie:
Can you get ’em back?
Scouse:
A don’t …
Willie:
You can’t
get ’em back!
Scouse:
No.
Willie:
Right!
Some
Dragons: Dump
’em! Dump
’em!
Scouse:
Wait a minute!
More
Dragons: Dump
’em! Dump
’em!
Scouse:
He can have my
trousers.
Willie:
He’s having ’em anyway.
Scouse:
You can’t dump Dragons! He can have
my
trousers! That’s fair. I don’t
mind going
back without ’em – but you can’t dump
Dragons.
Dragons are top gang.
Dragons[in
disagreement]:
Dump ’em! Dump ’em!
Can’t dump Dragons!
Dragons rule!
Dragons are top gang!
If he gives Pete his trousers,
that’s fair.
Dump ’em!
Dump ’em! Dump ’em!
Can’t dump Dragons!
Can’t dump Dragons!
The
chant of
“Can’t dump Dragons” gets louder.
Steve:
You’ll have to let ’em go,
Willie. You can’t dump Dragons like that for other
people
to laugh at. They won’t stand for it.
Dragons:
Can’t dump Dragons! Can’t dump Dragons!
Willie:
Orright. Yeah, that’s fair.
He has to give Pete his pants – and they both go home in
their
shirts.
Dragons:
Raaaay!
Steve
grabs
Scouse’s trousers from Willie and throws them to Pete, who
puts them on.
Willie:
It’s their initiation test: going home wi’ no pants
on!
Dragons:
Raaay!
Willie:
But they have to do it properly. They have to go back by the
viaduct.
Dragons:
Yeah! Yeah! Raaaay!
Scouse:
But … that’s through the girls!
Willie:
Yeah! Through the girls!
That’s the test – innit, lads?
That’s the
initiation test for these two.
Dragons:
Yeah! Yeah!
Willie:
If they don’t do it, they’re not Dragons
– and we’ll dump ’em!
Scouse:
Orright. We’ll do it.
Dragons:
Raaay!
Willie
and the Dragons hustle
Tommo and Scouse towards the steps leading up to the viaduct.
ACT
IV, SCENE 7
The
viaduct.
Norah:
What’s going on down there? A can’t see!
Rita:
Aw, it’s all finished, Norah. Let’s go
home.
Ada[brandishing
a pair of
jeans]: Yeah, we
got plenty of trophies.
Jane:
What’s going to happen to them?
Norah:I’ll
keep ’em! A’ll hang ’em on me
bedroom walls.
Girls:
Oooh!
Thelma:
What’ll your Mam say?
Norah:
Bugger all! She
won’t care.
Hey! If we hurry we can get to the end of the viaduct before
the
last of the Halden lads come up from the allotments.
We’ll
get another good laugh. A bet at least half of ’em
have
lost their trousers! Come on!
The
girls begin to move off.
Thelma:
Wait a bit! Look!
The
Dragons come pouring up onto
the viaduct from the steps near the Engine Sheds.
Willie:
Hey, lassies! Here’s summat for you!
Tommo
and Scouse, still
trouserless, are thrust forward.
Girls:
Ooooooh!
Willie:
Don’t let them go down the other
steps. They’ve got to go home by the main
road.
It’s their initiation test.
The
girls cheer and
laugh. Tommo and
Scouse move forward to run the gauntlet of the jeering girls who jostle
them and pull at their shirts. Tommo is dazed and bewildered, and
Scouse is holding his arm and steering him along. As they pass the
girls follow them, until they are walking along the viaduct over the
railway and the Alebeck, followed by the whole mob of laughing,
cheering and jeering girls. Norah is flourishing the Banner
and
all the other girls are brandishing pairs of trousers.
Norah:
Boys are stupid. We’ve taken the pants off them!
Girls:
We’ve got their pants!
We’ve
got their pants!
Ee-aye-addio,
we’ve got their pants.
The boys have lost
their kegs!
The boys have lost
their kegs!
Ee-aye-addio, the
boys have lost their kegs!
We’ve
got their kegs!
We’ve
got their kegs!
Ee-aye-addio,
we’ve got their kegs!
The boys have lost
their jeans!
The boys have lost
their jeans!
Ee-aye-addio, the
boys have lost their jeans!
We’ve
got their jeans!
We’ve
got their jeans!
Ee-aye-addio,
we’ve got their jeans!
The boys have lost
their trousers!
The boys have lost
their trousers!
Ee-aye-addio, the
boys have lost their trousers!
We’ve
got their trousers!
We’ve
got their trousers!
Ee-aye-addio,
we’ve got their trousers!
The boys have lost
their pants!
The boys have lost
their pants!
Ee-aye-addio, the
boys have lost their pants!
We’ve
got their pants!
We’ve
got their pants!
Ee-aye-addio,
we’ve got their pants!
